Returning to school after the summer break can be a difficult time for young people, whether they’re starting a new school, transitioning to secondary school, or adjusting to the return after the holidays. Many parents and carers ask us for advice on how to help their child manage the additional pressures they may experience, especially around their online interactions and new technology.
Help your child get back into a routine
The long summer break, change to routine, lifestyle, habits and no homework means more free time to a young person. This might also mean an increase in the amount of time they have spent online, such as playing games or watching videos. The thought of the new term and getting ‘back to normal’, might be a difficult change for some, especially with the realisation that they may not have as much free time to spend using tech.
Ask your child how they are feeling about going back to school and allow them time to talk. Recognise their worries or concerns and offer to help work out a balance between schoolwork and free time.
Use the Childnet family agreement to plan a structure that works for everyone, and develop a routine which includes specific time to unwind after school. This might include engaging with technology. However, set a time limit, and where possible, keep devices out of bedrooms overnight to ensure sleep isn’t disrupted by the distraction of a phone.
The tech in their pocket
For many young people, the most common device they will either have or want to have, is a phone. Choosing the right time, and phone, is an individual decision for every parent or carer who will know best whether their child is ready to take on this new responsibility.
For some, this may be during the final years at primary school to help them learn how to use it safely, for others it could be when the child transitions into secondary school or even later.
Getting a new or first phone can be exciting for a child, and whilst there are lots of positives, such as keeping in touch with your child or knowing their whereabouts, there are things to consider and ways to support your child.
- Install useful apps on your child’s phone to help with their travel to or from school. Screenshots or even print outs of the route might help save you money and data, or if you have chosen to give your child a device other than a smartphone.
- Talk to your child about how, when and where to use their phone. For example, playing a game on their phone whilst walking home from school may make the journey more fun but it could put them at risk of theft. For their own safety and security, it’s better to keep it out of sight, especially if they are alone.
- Set parental controls on your child’s device to help restrict their access to inappropriate content.
- Limit the amount of data they have or choose a non-smartphone to reduce the amount of time they spend on their device, or if you want to be able to contact your child but aren’t ready for them to have a smartphone.
- Use the Childnet family agreement to establish clear boundaries and expectations. The agreement is a great opportunity to start an open discussion about their online activity and creates a space for mutual decisions.
Talking about peer pressure
Every young person will have had a different experience with technology over the holidays, and sometimes this can influence their behaviour when they return to school. It’s natural to worry about your child and the pressure they may feel from others, so talk to them to help them understand what peer pressure is and learn strategies on how to avoid it.
Here are some of the things many parents and carers tell us they hear from their child:
“I want the latest phone like my friends”
“I’m missing out if I don’t have the same as everyone else”
“I want to play the same games as my friends”
Making a decision that you worry will exclude your child or means they feel left out can be difficult. However, you know your child best and should make the decision that is right for you and your family.
We hear from lots of parents and carers who prefer to wait to give their child access to the latest devices or apps, so the chances are you aren’t on your own. It may even be the case that your child’s perception that ‘everyone else’ is doing something, isn’t quite as accurate as they believe.
Research age restrictions, help your child find things which are age appropriate and explore the settings and controls you can use to help keep them safe. Whatever you decide, explain your reasons and, if appropriate, set a date when you will review your decision.
Peer pressure can be difficult to manage but if you think that your child is being pressured into doing or having something, let them know that they can always talk to you, and you are there to help.
Useful resources to help support your child online.
First phone checklist | Childnet – a guide on how to safely set your child up with their first phone
My Life Online – Conversation Guide | Childnet – a practical guide to help parents and carers have open conversations about life online.
Screen Time & Healthy Balance | Childnet – help and advice to support your child with the amount of time they spend online.
Moving on up! | Childnet – a suite of videos and activities to help your child with the transition between primary and secondary school.
Parents and Carers resource sheet | Childnet – signposting to a range of organisations and resources who can support you with keeping your family safe online
