Young people may recognise the term ‘sexting’ but would not often use it to describe this behaviour. They would more likely use terms such as ‘sending nudes’ or ‘sending pics.’
The content is usually created to be sent to a particular individual, but can end up being shared more widely. For example, a person may send a nude image consensually to someone they feel they can trust, but that person may share it on elsewhere without permission. It is often associated with teenagers, but can happen between younger children as well.
Not all incidents of sexting are consensual. It might be that a person is blackmailed or coerced into sending them, through emotional exploitation, or by threatening to leak private information or other photos to friends and family.
A nude image may also appear amongst a peer group online, with the name of someone attached to it, but in fact is an image found online with no connection to the victim.
What are the risks and impact?
Wellbeing
Engaging in sexting can impact on young people’s emotional wellbeing, self-esteem and relationships. Young people often put a lot of trust in those who they share an intimate image with. If someone they send an image to betrays that trust and shares on the image further without their consent, it can damage that relationship and cause emotional distress to the original sender. To know that peers, or a wider group of unknown others, have seen a photo that was originally meant for just one person can result in emotional upset and embarrassment.
The Law
Taking, sending and receiving a sexually explicit photo or video of an under 18 year old breaks the Protection of Children Act 1978, even if an under 18 year old took the picture of themselves. The National Police Chiefs’ Council of England, Wales and Northern Ireland have stated that young people engaging in sexting should be treated as victims in the first instance and not face prosecution as first time offenders, but that the situation will be investigated to ensure the young people involved are not at further risk. The police’s priority is those who profit from sexual images and exploit children. Repeat offenders and more extreme cases are reviewed differently, still with a focus on avoiding prosecution unless absolutely necessary. If someone is putting pressure on your child to send them a nude or nearly nude image, inform the police. The non-consensual sharing of someone’s nude image, whether you are over 18 or not, is always illegal.
Advice
Firstly, try not to panic. There are steps that can be taken to minimise the effects of the incident.
- Be supportive. It will have been a very difficult and embarrassing conversation for them to have had with you, and they need your help and compassion.
- Be curious and not furious. Reassure your child that you are here to support them and ask them to explain the facts to you. This will most likely be difficult and embarrassing for them to do so be non-judgemental when asking questions.
- Seek help. Schools and colleges want to know about any experiences that negatively affect their pupils so they can effectively support them. Schools are well equipped to deal with such incidents and have access to advice from local safeguarding services. They also often have working relationships with the police and can offer advice on the reporting process.
- Take positive action. To contain the distribution of the content, acting sooner rather than later is important.
- If the image was posted by your child on to a social networking site, delete it immediately.
- If it was sent to someone else, contact that person as soon as you can and ask them to delete it, to prevent it from going any further.
- If you think that the image has been shared more widely, seek additional support. Your child’s friends may be able to let you know where they have seen the image and who has shared it. Involving school staff may also be necessary in order to help communicate with others who have shared the image.
- To check the other places that the image might be, search online for your child’s name or username. Using inverted commas, and additional search words, such as “Firstname Surname” + Location, can improve accuracy of results.
- If the image has been shared on social networking sites by others, report it immediately using the site’s reporting tools . Due to the illegal nature of such images, it will break a site’s terms and conditions.
- If the image has been shared more widely online, your child can report this to Childline who will support them in getting this taken down and provide additional counselling to help them to move forward.
- If you are concerned that your child has been groomed or coerced into sending the content, make a report to CEOP.
Top tips
Discuss the pressures
The creation of nude or partially nude content can be due to pressure from a partner or peer. Young people may also feel a pressure to request nude images, or send on other people’s, in order to feel accepted, or part of a particular friendship group. Discussing peer pressure, healthy relationships and self-esteem with your child is a positive way to help them recognise unhealthy relationships or friendships and seek further support if they need to.
Discuss puberty and growing up
As children reach puberty, their bodies will begin to change and they may have questions. Taking images is one way young people may explore the way their body is growing and developing. They may wish to seek out images of other people’s bodies in order to compare, or out of curiosity. Visit Family Lives for more information on how to have conversations around puberty
Discuss the consequences
Taking, sharing and having possession of nude and sexually explicit images of under 18s is illegal, even if a young person chooses to take this of themselves. It is important to know the police take a common sense approach, and do not want to unnecessarily criminalise young people for this behaviour. However, if the sharing is done with malicious intent, or is a repeat occurrence, they may take more serious action. It can also be hurtful and painful to recover from, and have a negative impact on their mental health, self-esteem and relationships.
Discuss respect and consent online
Talk to your child about safe and respectful online behaviour, and the different types of things that permission is needed for. If young people are ever unsure whether they have someone’s consent or not, the crucial thing to remember is to ask.
Discuss who they can talk to
If you and your child can have an ongoing open dialogue about their life online, whilst still allowing them a certain level of privacy, they will be more likely to seek advice from you if they find themselves in a difficult situation. Reassure them it is never too late to seek help, regardless of what they might have done, or how long it’s been going on for.
Conversation starters
- How do you use technology to stay in touch with friends?
- What sorts of things do you like to share with each other?
- What could you do if you thought someone was being pressured to share images they were uncomfortable with?
- How could you resist the pressure to share a nude image and say ‘no’?
- Who can you go to if you are worried about something online?